Thursday, 29 December 2011

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Now with less subtitles

Disgraced journalist Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) is hired by reitred CEO Henrik Vanger (Christopher Plummer) to solve the case of Harriet Vanger, his niece who has been missing for forty years and believes one of his family was responsible for murdering Harriet. Mikael manages to uncover a link between Harriet and a serial killer of women, and asks for the help of cyberpunk computer hacker Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara).

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Perfectly viewed with a certain Team America song playing

It is 1942. Puny weakling Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) wants nothing more than to join to army and to protect his country, unfortunatley, he is turned away due to his many physical and health issues. Dr Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) sees the good inside Steve and has him enlisted and recruited as part of the super-soldier experiment, which advances his height, makes him stronger and gives him muscles, giving birth to the legend that is Captain America.

Captain America was always going to be the most difficult superhero to sell the public on. Outside of America, there was the worry about marketing a superhero who could be seen as American propaganda, resulting in three countries leaving the "Captain America" part out of the film's title. It does appear that the fears were unfounded, considering the film made more than double it's budget back. Now, onto the review.

Monday, 26 December 2011

Scrooged (1988)

As it turns out, Bill Murray is afraid of ghosts after all

A cynically selfish TV executive gets haunted by three spirits bearing lessons on Christmas Eve. Now where have I heard that basic plot before?

Thursday, 22 December 2011

Trailer: The Dark Knight Rises (#2)

Following the death of District Attorney Harvey Dent, Batman assumes responsibility for Dent's crimes in order to protect Dent's reputation and is hunted as a fugitive by the Gotham City Police Department. Eight years after the events of The Dark Knight, Gotham has recovered from Joker's killing spree, and is experiencing a time of peace. A warning from the "enigmatic" Selina Kyle foreshadows a coming cataclysm, prompting Batman to return to the city where he must stop the villain Bane and his plans to destroy Gotham.

Bad Santa (2003)

This Santa's interested in a different kind of Ho, Ho, Ho

Willie Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton), A miserable conman, and his partner, Marcus (Tony Cox), pose as Santa and his Little Helper to rob department stores on Christmas Eve. But they run into problems when the conman befriends a troubled kid, and the security boss discovers the plot.

Monday, 19 December 2011

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Get your stinking paws of this franchise, Tim Burton, you damn dirty ape

During experiments to find a cure for Alzheimer's disease, Dr Will Rodman (James Franco) raises across a genetically-enhanced chimpanzee, who turns out to posses greater intelligence, and will use said intelligence to eventually lead other apes to their freedom.

After 10 years without a Planet of the Apes film in sight, the re-emergence of this franchise did not set my pulse racing, and I did not expect much from a re-visit to an old franchise whose last endeavor wasn't very well received. I went into this film with no real expectations, and was pleasantly surprised with what I had witnessed.

Trailer: Wrath of the Titans

A decade after defeating the Kraken, Perseus is trying to live a quiet life as a fisherman while being the sole parent to his 10 year old son. Meanwhile, the gods are losing control of their imprisoned Titan, and their leader, Kronos, father of Hades, Posiedon and Zeus. Ares, son of Zeus, makes a deal with Kronos, siphoning Zeus' powers and unleashing hell on earth. So now Perseus, with Queen Andromeda and others, must venture into the underworld to defeat the Titans.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Elf (2003)

The best way to spread Christmas cheer, is laughing out loud for all to hear

Buddy (Will Ferrell), one of Santa's elves, learns that he's actually a human and goes to New York City to meet his father, spreading christmas cheer in a world of cynics.

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)

Three male chipmunks and three female chipmunks, a red title banner in the middle of the poster and three female chipmunks underneath
The film's intelligence goes no further than the stupid title

The world famous singing pre-teen chipmunk trio return to contend with the pressures of school, celebrity, and a rival female music group known as The Chipettes.

Let me make it perfectly clear that I have not seen the first Alvin and The Chipmunks film, so I will be reviewing this as a film in its own merit, and not a sequel. But to be honest, I don't think I would enjoy this more if I did see the first film.

Friday, 16 December 2011

Wounds of Misery (2011)

Wounds of Misery is a different type of film compared to what I usually review. It's an independent film by fellow reviewer and aspiring film maker Thomas Pollock, who runs his own review site as The official summary:
Alexander is a 14 year old boy who is abused by family and bullied in his school. His depression grows stronger and the melancholy and anger builds up inside him. He has now questioned living.

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Babylon A.D. (2008)

The next Battlefield Earth?

Veteran-turned-mercenary Toorop takes the high-risk job of escorting a woman from Russia to America. Little does he know that she is host to an organism that a cult wants to harvest in order to produce a genetically modified Messiah.

Trailer: G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Little has been revealed about the actual plot. What we can ascertain from the trailer is that the G.I. Joe's will be framed for something, which puts them up against Cobra, including Zartan who was last seen disguised as the President of the United States at the end of the last film. This will lead to the president ordering their deaths, leaving very few remaining, including Roadblock, Snake Eyes and Bruce Willis.

Trailer: Men In Black III

Men in Black III involves a villain using time travel to go to the 60's in order to kill Agent Kay, which in turn triggers a series of events which'll end with the destruction of Earth. This leaves it up to Jay to go back in time and partner up with 60's Kay, played by Josh Brolin.

Monday, 12 December 2011

The Mummy (1999)

Mummified in development hell for 6 years, until Stephen Sommers came along

Over 3,000 years ago the high priest Imhotep (Arnold Vosloo) was given the all-important assignment of preparing the recently dead for their journey into the afterlife. However, Imhotep made one terrible mistake - he became smitten with Anck-Su-Namun, the mistress of the Pharaoh himself. Driven mad by jealousy and love, Imhotep murdered the Pharaoh, and his punishment was to be buried alive and suffer the torment of an eternal life in his wretched tomb. In 1925, a band of adventurers seeking fame and fortune - led by Rick O'Connel (Brendan Fraser), an American expatriate who has joined the foreign legion, and Evelyn Carnarvon (Rachel Weisz), an amateur archeologist - find a previously unknown burial site in Egypt. The team starts to dig, hoping to find lost riches, but instead they disturb the tomb of Imhotep, and soon the cursed priest rises from his grave to wreck vengeance on humanity.

Saturday, 10 December 2011

The Hangover: Part II (2011)

One night in Bangkok bears a similarity to one night in Vegas

Phil, Stu, Alan and Doug travel to Thailand for Stu’s wedding. After the bachelor party in Las Vegas, Stu takes no chances and opts for a safe, subdued pre-wedding brunch. However, things do not go as planned, as Phil, Stu and Alan wake up in Bangkok with Alan's head shaved, Stu's face tattooed similarly to Mike Tyson's and a monkey.

The Walking Dead: Season 2 - Part 1 (2011)

Walking Dead S2 Poster.jpg
A show that's more than just brainless fun

The first half of the second season follows on straight after the ending of the first season as Rick and his band of survivors aim to survive the zombie apocalypse. They leave Atlanta in order to reach Fort Benning, but come across a traffic jam.

*Warning: Spoilers abound, but not too many*

Friday, 9 December 2011

The Hangover (2009)

Three men and a baby wearing sunglasses."What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except herpes, that shit'll come back with you"

To celebrate his upcoming marriage, Doug (Justin Bartha) is taken to Las Vegas to have his bachelor party, taken by his best friends Stu (Ed Helms) and Phil (Bradley Cooper), along with his future brother-in-law, Alan (Zach Galifianakis). The next morning, Alan, Phil and Stu wake up with the mother of all hangovers to find their hotel room completely trashed, a tiger in the bathroom, a baby in the closet, Doug is missing and they do not remember a single thing about the night before.

Monsters (2010)

The true monsters are the advertising executives

Six years ago, NASA discovered the possibility of alien life within our solar system. A probe was launched to collect samples, but crashed upon re-entry over Central America. Soon after, new life forms began to appear and grow. In an effort to stem the destruction that resulted, half of Mexico was quarantined as an Infected Zone. Today, the American and Mexican military still struggle to contain the massive creatures... Our story begins when a jaded US journalist (Scoot McNairy) begrudgingly agrees to find his boss' daughter, a shaken American tourist (Whitney Able) and escort her through the infected zone to the safety of the US border.

Thursday, 8 December 2011

Trailer: The Three Stooges

I am always trying to add new posts on here that aren't film reviews, because that can get boring after a while. So for a new segment, I thought to give a short review on any new trailers for upcoming films, and what better trailer to review than this trailer that was released yesterday?

Based on the mid-20th century comedy shorts, The Three Stooges is about, well, 3 stooges, who have to save their orphanage, and along the way uncover a murder plot and wind up starring in a reality TV show. It is produced, written and directed by the Farrelly brothers.

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Sucker Punch (2011)

Snyder sucker punches the audience

Baby Doll (Emily Browning) is committed to a mental asylum by her sexually abusive step-father after he kills Baby Doll's younger sister and blames it on her. Baby Doll is to suffer a lobotomy, and retreats into an alternative reality as a coping strategy. In there, she envisions a plan which will help her, and four other girls, escape from the mental facility.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

The poster depicts of a Transformer named Optimus Prime, standing with his blade on his left arm, and his blaster on his right arm, with a young couple standing below the Transformer, and standing in front of a crashlanded Decepticon fighter. The characters appear to be in the war-torn city of Chicago, with Decepticon battleships surrounding and guarding the city. The film title and credits are on the bottom of the poster.Disclaimer: Pink Floyd are in no way affiliated with this film, smart move

In 1961, American launched a mission to the moon, with their real intentions being to find what crashed on the moon, which actually was a ship from Cybertron, home planet of the Transformers.. Three years after the events of the second film, the Autobots continue to work for the NEST (Networked Elements: Supporters and Transformers) military force. Meanwhile, the Decepticons unveil a plan to use the new groundbreaking technology, the Pillars, to enslave Humanity in order to save Cybertron.

Monday, 5 December 2011

Blog: So what was in the briefcase after all?

In Pulp Fiction, Julius and Vincent are hired to bring a briefcase back to their boss, Marsellus Wallace. We are never shown what is inside that briefcase, nor are we ever given any glimpses inside the briefcase. All we know is that an orange glow emits whenever the briefcase is opened, it's worth killing over and, in the words of Pumpkin, "It's beautiful".

"I know something you don't"

Quentin Tarantino was originally going to have diamonds be the contents of the briefcase, but took it out as he felt it was too mundane. The only answer we've gotten is that "it's whatever the user wants it to be", so here's a few of my suggestions as to what the mysterious contents actually were.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Brick (2005)

Cult hit or overrated?

Paying homage to noir flicks of the 40's, Brick tells the tale of Brendan Frye (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who gets a call from Emily Kostich (Emile de Ravin), the ex-girlfriend he hasn't seen in two months, asking for help. Wanting to make sure she is okay, Brendan searches for her, eventually finding her, where she pleads for him to leave her alone. The next day, he finds Emily's dead body, and decides to find not only the murder, but the mastermind behind the murderer.

Bronson (2008)


Britain's most violent prisoner makes his way to the big screen

Born into a respectable middle class family, Michael Gordon Peterson, re-named Charles Bronson by his fight promoter, would nevertheless become one of the United Kingdom's most dangerous criminals and is known for having spent almost his entire adult life in solitary confinement.

Friday, 2 December 2011

The Hunted (2003)

The scriptwriter needs to be hunted

Aaron Hallam (Benicio Del Toro) is a Special Forces operator who went renegade after suffering from severe battle stress and is now hunting people who come into the wilderness and brutally killing them. In order to stop Hallam, the FBI call in his former instructor, L.T Bonham (Tommy Lee Jones) to apprehend him.

Drive (2011)

Less Fast, More Furious

A hollywood stunt performer (Ryan Gosling) moonlights as a getaway driver. As a getaway driver, he works anonymously, never uses the same clients more than once and only allows his clients five minutes to do their business, otherwise they're on their own. When Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her son, Benicio, move in next door, the Driver strikes a relationship with the two. After Irene's husband, Standard (Oscar Isaac) is released from prison, he is confronted by a gangster who he owes "protection money" to. The Driver then offers his services to work with Standard, in order for the gang to leave Irene and her son alone.

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Horrible Bosses (2011)

Living the American dream

Nick (Jason Bateman) is an executive who is tricked into working to the bone for his boss, the ruthless Dave Harken (Kevin Spacey) only to be passed for promotion. Dale (Charlie Day) wants nothing more than to be the perfect husband, but his boss (Jennifer Ansiton) keeps sexually harassing him. Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) loves his job, thanks to his charming boss Jack Pellitt (Donald Sutherland), but when his boss dies of a heart attack, his douchebag coke-head son, Bobby (Colin Farrell) takes over, making Kurt hate his job like his friends. Fed up with their bosses, the three decide to actually kill their bosses, so they get the help from murder consultant, Dean "Motherfucker" Jones (Jamie Foxx). Needless to say, things don't go according to plan...

True Romance (1993)

Nothing says Romance, like drugs and murder

Clarence (Christian Slater) meets Alabama (Patricia Arquette), the woman of his dreams and spends one of the best nights of his life with her. She later comes clean to him that she's really a hooker, hired to keep Clarence company. After they get married, Clarence manages to steal cocaine from her pimp, and devises a plan to sell it in Hollywood. Meanwhile, the owners of the coke are trying to reclaim it.