Sunday, 29 January 2012

Taken (2008)

If you don't read my review, Liam Neeson will find you, and he will kill you

Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson), an ex-CIA agent, travels to Paris in order to locate Kim (Maggie Grace), his daughter who has been kidnapped to be sold as a sex slave, and has only 96 hours to do so, before he loses her indefinitely.

11-11-11 (2011)

Made by 80085

After the death of his wife and child, an author travels to Barcelona to see his estranged brother and dying father, where he learns that his life is plagued by events that occur on 11/11/11.

Look at the poster. Those aren't 11's, that's an x-ray screen of Darren Lynn Bousman giving the viewers the bowfinger, twice, with the help of another person. After seeing this film, that's what I feel I see whenever I look at that damned poster.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Die Hard (1988)

Now I have a review of this film, ho-ho-ho

On Christmas Eve, New York City Police officer John McClane (Bruce Willis) arrives in Los Angeles, in the Nakatomi Plaza building during it's company Christmas party, to reconcile with his estranged wife, Holly. While McClane changes clothes, the party is disrupted by the arrival of Hans Gruber and his heavily armed group, who plan to steal the 600 million dollars locked in Nakatomi's high-tech safe. The group seize the tower and secure those inside as hostages except for McClane who manages to slip away, barefoot.

Monday, 23 January 2012

Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2011)

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but misunderstandings killed the college teen

Tucker and Dale are two best friends on vacation at their dilapidated mountain house, who are mistaken for murderous backwoods hillbillies by a group of obnoxious, preppy college kids. When one of the students gets separated from her friends, the boys try to lend a hand, but as the misunderstanding grows, so does the body count.

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Frozen (2010)

May end up leaving you cold

Childhood friends Dan (Kevin Zegers) and Joe (Shawn Ashmore) along with Dan's girlfriend Parker (Emma Bell) spend a weekend at a ski resort. The three friends bribe the ski attendant to let them take one last run down the mountain. Before the friends reach the top, the ski attendant is replaced and tells his replacement that three more skiers are still left to come down. Once three other skiers come down the mountain, the attendant shuts down the lift, stranding the three friends in their ski lift far above the ground.

Friday, 20 January 2012

Rubber (2010)

Not a Goodyear

In the California desert, a tire comes to life and embarks on a killing spree as an audience watches the events unfold through binoculars. The tire kills by vibrating intensely and psychokinetically causing people's heads to explode. Settling into an obscure, desert town, the tire finds a woman that he is interested in. A sheriff investigating the murders is inside and outside the diegesis, sometimes participating in the narrative action and sometimes commenting on it.

Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

How I Met a drug addled Doogie Howser

Harold (John Cho) is a slightly uptight banker who begrudgingly accepts into doing his colleagues' work. Kumar (Kal Penn) is a slacker who intentionally botches every medical school interview his father gives him. The two are best friends, who after smoking some marijuana, decide to drive to White Castle to get some food, but find the nearest White Castle is no longer there. Given directions by a crazy Burger Shack employee, they then decide to drive to the next closest White Castle, but end up encountering a number of problems along the way.

Friday, 13 January 2012

Observe and Report (2009)

Observe on how not to make a comedy, and report to Judd Apatow for tips

Bipolar head of security, Ronnie (Seth Rogen), makes it mission to apprehend an anonymous flasher who's been going round exposing himself to various women around the mall, whilst trying to win over his dream girl Brandi (Anna Faris), contend with Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta) and live out his dream of becoming a real police officer.

Brüno (2009)

Good reviews are so 2009

Gay Austrian fashion reporter Brüno (Sacha Baron Cohen) is fired from his own television show, Funkyzeit mit Brüno (Funkytime with Brüno), after disrupting a Milan Fashion week catwalk, and his lover leaves him for another man. Accompanied by his assistant's assistant, Lutz (Gustaf Hammarsten), he travels to the United States to become "the biggest Austrian superstar since Hitler".