Sunday, 12 August 2012

Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star (2011)

Born to suck (Insert pornographic joke here)

A small-town manchild with big buck-teeth, Bucky Larson (Nick Swardson), stumbles upon a family secret: His quiet and reserved parents were famous porn stars in the 1970s. This motivates him to leave northern Iowa for Hollywood, hoping to follow in their footsteps and fulfill his destiny as the biggest adult-film star in the world. Unfortunately, he has no idea how to become a porn star like his parents, and his penis is incredibly small.


Never before have I been so offended by a film. If Seth Macfarlane, Sacha Baron Cohen, Trey Parker & Matt Stone and Ricky Gervais got together to make a film, it would still not offend me as much as the fact that Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star is considered to be comedy.

If you've looked at my tags, you're probably wondering why Adam Sandler's name is there, as he doesn't star in the film. The reason is that this film was produced by Adam Sandler's production company, Happy Madison Productions, and whats more is that he was one of the screenwriters on the film, alongside the film's star, Nick Swardson, and Allen Covert, that guy who's appeared in nearly all of Adam Sandler's films.

The screenwriters seem to be going by the idea that the film will be funnier due to how much more gross-out they can make it, and they do this by having Bucky masturbate, in full public, while auditioning for a Mac and Cheese commercial, premature ejaculating while hollering like a molested chimpanzee, and having the semen land on a granny's top. As you can tell, these jokes don't work, instead being pretty horrendous throughout the cliched, generic and all-round awful script.

"I do not know what's up, and stop calling me 'Doc'"
Funnier than anything you'll see in the film
On the evidence of his performance in this film, Nick Swardson needs to get two things before he stars in another film: A sense of dignity, and acting lessons. From the way Swardson writes and portrays the main character, it makes me think he has something wrong with him mentally, and it doesn't help that you can barely understand what he says through those godawful oversized fake teeth. Bucky is meant to be sweet and have a light hearted nature, but the fact that he wants to go into porn compromises his nature from early on in the film. That's like if Tyler Durden worked for minimum wage at McDonalds, or Lieutenant Aldo Raine was really a Nazi.

One thing that is required all throughout the film is a major suspension of disbelief, as barely anything that happens makes sense. The Matrix sequels make more sense than this film, and frankly, i'd consider them to be more realistic.

With no redeeming factors whatsoever, not only does Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star deserve to be called one of the worst films of 2011, but also one of the worst films of all time, comedy or otherwise. You don't even need to see the film to know this, you just have to know that Pauly Shore makes a cameo appearance.

6 comments:

  1. Yeah, this movie is pretty much as shitty as it gets and without a doubt, one of the worst movies of 2011, if not the worst as it is. You know your movie is bad when a critic refers to it as "the worst movie Pauly Shore has ever cameo-ed in". Ouch! Good review Rodders.

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    1. That is a pretty harsh way to describe it. Thanks, Dan

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  2. I do watch films with bad reviews occasionally, but I somewhat value the time I have on Earth to even waste my time thinking about this film. Heard it was terrible, yet I never read a review. Your review just makes it even worse than I imagined.

    Oh and Nick Swardson is about as funny as being kicked in the head (and I would know).

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    1. He is pretty much a vacuum for humor. You'd get more laughs out of No Country For Old Men than out of a Nick Swardson film.

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  3. Oh. My. God. This sounds like the worst movie ever made. And I actually sat through Step Brothers. There is no way I could be drunk enough to endure this one. :-P

    That said, scathing reviews can be a lot of fun to read, and your sharp wit really shines here. I was laughing out loud throughout the post (and it had nothing to do with the movie). Among my favorite lines: "The Matrix sequels make more sense than this film...," "If Seth Macfarlane, Sascha Baron Cohen, Trey Parker & Matt Stone and Ricky Gervais got together to make a film..." and "That's like if Tyler Durden worked for minimum wage at McDonalds, or Lieutenant Aldo Raine was really a Nazi."

    Excellent review!

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    1. Not the worst movie ever made, but pretty damn close. Maybe the worst comedy, or at least one of the worst. Thanks for the kind words.

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