Monday, 5 January 2015

20 Worst Films of 2014

Now 2014 is over and done with, I have put together a list of the films which I was unfortunate enough to spend my time watching. So, this is what I thought was the worst of 2014.




Dishonourable Mentions

Horrible Bosses 2, a beat-for-beat rehash of the first film that's unwelcome in its tastelessness.
Ride Along, a copy and paste job of the buddy cop formula, only with more Kevin Hart shouting.
As Above, So Below, a sporadically creepy flick with little character development beyond the lead.
The Monuments Men, one of the years best casts put into something dull and forgettable.

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20. Knights of Badassdom

The potential lies within a talented cast of cult favourites in an interesting setting, but we're left with a barrage of dull moments that occur thanks to a weak script and bland direction.



19. What We Did On Our Holiday

The creators of hit BBC show Outnumbered make the jump to the big screen, trying to deliver a feel-good family comedy. Unfortunately, things fall flat due to the main comedy attempts being giving the kids funny lines, which feel forced and stilted. The worst aspect occurs in the second act, where the kids enact their grandfathers wishes, and the film delivers a moment too dark to be laughed off or to get over.


18. Transcendence

From the well assembled cast to the intriguing premise, Wally Pfister's directorial debut came with promise. Unfortunately, we were left with a 2 hour sleeping pill that involves a bored looking cast, little character development and clunky dialogue.



17. Almost Home

This short was made available to give a taste of 2015's Dreamworks picture, Home. If the film resembles this 4 minute short, then we'll be getting a painfully unfunny short that relies on its big name cast to pander to children with its simplistic humor. How joyous.

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16. Sex Tape

Let's not fool ourselves here, Jake Kasdan directed a 94 minute advertisement for both Apple and YouPorn. The poor script and half-hearted attempts at jokes were most likely thrown in to cover this up, which explains the strange "Rob Lowe painted in Disney scenes" moments and needless swearing inserted into dialogue.


Three people dressed in Western style. On the left in the background a man dressed in dark colors with a gun held high. In the centre a man in a blue shirt with a brown waistcoat, and to his right a blonde woman
15. A Million Ways To Die In The West

Seth MacFarlane's big screen follow-up to Ted was curiously a comedy western, a mixture of genres rarely seen nowadays. But instead of comedy, we got Neil Patrick-Harris defecating in two hats, the sight of a sheep's erect penis and a flower being planted in Liam Neesons crack. Charlize Theron steals the show, only because everybody else is bland and dull.



14. Deliver Us From Evil

Scott Derrickson's mixture of cop procedural and possession horror is interesting in theory, but comes off as a cliché-ridden procedural with a horror backdrop in execution. The gloomy mood and creepy atmosphere are well set, but cannot make up for the lack in tension and actual scares.

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13. Maleficent

The latest in Disney's trend of giving live-action remakes to animated classics, Robert Stromberg brings his Oscar-winning talents of production design to craft a film that's style over substance, squandering any potential for interesting takes on villainy. Angelina Jolie's performance is undoubtedly the best aspect of the film, while the irritating fairies remain on of the worst things released on screen in 2014.


12. Need For Speed

Dreamworks were eager to cash-in on the popularity of The Fast and The Furious franchise and Aaron Paul's post-Breaking Bad fame, which makes it all the more unfortunate how bland the overall product is and how little an impression Paul makes here. It doesn't help how logic seems to be less important than showcasing Kid Cudi's poor acting, as an ex-con on parole openly attracts the attention of the police in a car he plans to use in an illegal race, and Tobey causes vehicular destruction with little disregard for others, in revenge for Dominic Cooper doing the exact same thing (only to his friend).


11. Winter's Tale

Oscar winner Akiva Goldsmith makes his directorial debut here, and it certainly sticks in the memory. Unfortunately, it does so due to how laughably awful it all is. Sit back and watch Russell Crowe do a poor job of an accent, while Goldsmith makes an awkward failure of balancing the initial period setting with the time travel and supernatural elements. See love constantly used as a convenient way to get out of actually explaining things, and marvel at Will Smith's gloriously bad turn as The Devil.

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10. Sabotage

The first of David Ayer's 2014 flicks is needlessly bloody and grim, resulting in a watch that's gruelling for no good reason. Perhaps things could have been improved if the characters were given more of a personality or even made the slightest bit likeable, but stupid nicknames are all they have to define themselves from each other. Arnie gives his best performance since leaving politics, but needs to be more selective with what he stars in.


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9. The Nut Job

You can tell how dated a film will seem when it ends with Gangnam Style forcefully crammed into the end credits. But that's only one problem the most expensive animated film made by South Korea has, with the cheap animation style and the unfunny jokes coming in also. The worst aspect has to be the douchebag of a main character, who has no reasoning behind his selfish ways and the exact same motivations as the villain.

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8. I, Frankenstein

It says a lot about this film when the best aspect, of a 92 minute film, is how the common mistake of naming the creature Frankenstein is not made. Disregarding that, what are we left with? A moody protagonist that becomes tiresome to watch, poorly conceived effects and a script that can't escape the feel of being overly generic & predictable.

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7. Blended

An Adam Sandler film on this list? What a shocker. His latest "comedy" film sees Sandler enjoying a vacation in Africa, watching two Rhinos humping, and then working some lazy storyline into the mix to justify it. Director Frank Coraci tries delivering a comedy with dramatic moments, but the lack of space between the moments leaves an uncomfortable blend, with Terry Crews lazily inserted into random scenes.


6. Sharknado 2: The Second One

The Asylum's sequel to their Twitter-hit is just as poorly rendered in the effects, with no attempts made at acting or crafting logic. There's fun to be had in the ridiculous moments, especially in how many citizens of New York keep weapons in their cars, but it's still distracting when you constantly pick holes in it.

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5. The Legend of Hercules

The first of two Hercules films released in 2014, and easily the worst. More of a focus is put into the costume design than the fight scenes, which are uninteresting and dragged out with the overuse of slow motion. Renny Harlin wants it to be like 300 or Gladiator so much that it can't form its own identity, not helped by the uncharismatic lead that is Kellan Lutz.



Transformers Age of Extinction Poster.jpeg4. Transformers: Age of Extinction

These Giant Fighting Robot flicks were never made to please the critics, but it's baffling how much worse Michael Bay managed to make just about everything. Running at 2 hours 45 minutes with nothing to justify it, patiences are tested as unlikable and annoying characters fill the screen, battles are dragged out while viewed as incomprehensible and one scene in particular seems to have no purpose than to justify the on-screen depiction of statutory rape. It fills me with great sadness that this was 2014's highest grossing film.


The Other Woman (2014 film) poster.jpg3. The Other Woman

Released under the impression that it's a cinematic example of female empowerment, this Cameron Diaz starrer comes off as pretty misogynistic. The female characters are portrayed as petty and childish, while Nick Cassavetes seems to be under the impression the viewers will lose interest unless relationships is talked about or Kate Upton's bum is shown. The double standard about this film is glaring, as there'd be an uproar in seeing a female character abused in many ways by the men she's cheated with, but its okay if its a male getting abused by the females he's cheated with. Gender equality, take a step backwards. It should also be noted that Nicki Minaj really cannot act.

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2. A Haunted House 2

A year after A Haunted House unfortunately became a hit, a sequel was rushed out of the gate. Typically, there are forced attempts at ripping off recent horror films, which is a preferred method of torture than the toilet humor, spousal abuse, killing of dogs and Marlon Wayan's ear-splitting screeches.


A man dressed as an old woman, with a curly wig, and oval glasses, and large mole on his chin. His hands are crossed under his chin and he is smiling.1. Mrs Brown's Boys D'Movie

The latest unfortunate by-product of transferring a TV show onto the big screen, director Ben Kellett seems to have missed the memo. Pauses are regularly left after "jokes", as if expecting the canned laughter to play, while whole scenes prove useless and put a case for the need of a brutal edit. The strangest thing is how scenes usually reserved for the outtakes are left in, appearing partway through the scenes of the actual film. The characters are all awful, but the lowest of the low points is reserved for Brendan O'Carroll's stereotypical imitation of a Chinese man. Teaching classes on how to be Ninjas, the mispronunciation of words, and even Yellowface, it's a step-back for humanity, and easily one of 2014's worst moments in cinema.


Disagree/Agree with my choices? Be sure to voice your opinions in the comments below.

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