Saturday, 26 November 2016

Yoga Hosers (2016)

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Just the wurst

Director: Kevin Smith
Running Time: 88 Minutes
Starring: Lily-Rose Depp, Harley Quinn Smith, Johnny Depp, Justin Long, Vanessa Paradis, Austin Butler, Tyler Posey


In spite of the evident talents of leads Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp, the pair are stuck portraying a pair of uncompelling leads. They're unable to overcome how are uninterestingly their characters are written, defined solely through a self-interested nature and being constantly on their phones. This is clearly an attempt to poke fun at the current generation, but it holds as much depth as the poorly rendered visuals of Nazi Bratwurst going up people's asses.

Kevin Smith seems to be under the impression that numerous scenes of characters laughing at gags, and saying how funny things are, is an acceptable substitute for jokes that are actually funny. It could be, in the same way shards of glass could be a good substitute for toilet paper.

Image result for yoga hosers youtubeIt's a shame this has come from a once director like Kevin Smith, considering it feels more like an embarrassing feature from a first time director. Time which should be focused on character development is instead reserved for ass kissing, over shoehorned voice impersonations. Any hope for witticisms stops at a character named Yogi Bayer (who also acts as a vessel for exposition), and Smith even resorts to ripping off his "I'm not supposed to be here" quote from Clerks. As if there weren't already enough reminders of better films you could be watching instead (here's looking at you, awful Stan Lee cameo).

When it comes the revelation of the villainous plan, it amounts to an out of the blue plan of murdering critics. There's little cohesion between this revelation and what's previously occurred in the film. Between this and Guy LaPointe remarking how critics are "not real people", it feels like the tacked on and tired result of an extremely bitter Kevin Smith.

If it was revealed Yoga Hosers was a vanity project for the leads, made around the bitter ramblings of Kevin Smith, it wouldn't be a surprise. The veteran director has churned out a cheap picture, lacking in attempt. At best, it's a strong example of why a restraining order should be made to keep Smith away from the horror genre.

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